What I wish I had told you
I have so much trouble with my own thoughts that I can't stand anyone else's.
Hence these lines... I had to get them out somehow...
To all the people who ask me how I'm doing and don't really want to hear the answer, who want to know if I'll ever finish my studies and roll their eyes when I tell them I'm going to do a PhD... Is everything all right? Did you have an epileptic fit or are you rolling your eyes for no reason? Do I owe you money, or why are you pressuring me?
To the neighbour who bumped into my dad in the supermarket the other day and said: "Isn't she a bit late?" Late for what? For life? Madam, if you think the train of life has left without me, rest assured, there's another one, and after that there'll be another one, and then... guess what... there'll be one more. The concept behind it? Life's station(s). It's where life's trains arrive and depart for new destinations. You either get on or you don't. Sometimes the train is late, sometimes it's cancelled. You may have to wait on the platform from time to time. Here's a tip for you: enjoy the view and don't worry too much about the detours your connections will take you on.
To the fellow students who think I'm just stupid because I can't communicate the way they do and therefore only talk nonsense... What are you afraid of? That you won't get a seat at the worktable? That I'll snatch the last slice of life's cake from under your nose? Don't you realise that the aim of the game is not to be allowed to get a piece of cake at the table of the working world, but to use everything you have learned to bake the cake and share it with others?
To you desperate people who no longer know who I am, but are sure of how I should live my life, we have this in common: I no longer know who you are either and am beginning to despair of your humanness. But one thing is certain: just as your life is yours, my life is mine alone. So live a happy life and leave me out of it.